THINK TIME 


Nancy Kline (1999). Time to Think: 

                                  Listening to Ignite the Human Mind.


Kline is a Quaker and CEO of the organization Time to Think, Inc. The book is born of a health crisis she lived through in her 20's...a story of courage and love...

the theme of the book is to create a "thinking environment" where people's dreams become real, where they can solve their own problems, and make their own decisions through your attentive listening and incisive questions that promote more thinking for THEM.

the steps in a thinking session are simple to enumerate and challenging to practice because they go against the grain of most modern industrialized attitudes, behavior, and agendas...Kline applies these steps to organizational meetings, classrooms, health care, politics, intimate relationships, and families...the chapters are only 2-4 pages in length and written in a pithy and engaging style


here are the steps to a thinking session...give it a try...a gift for someone you love...


find a place that is relatively quiet with minimal distractions for you and the person you want to listen to and think with...

ask them what they want to think about, then listen with whole hearted attention, keep your eyes locked with theirs the entire time, and DO NOT INTERUPT THEM (promise yourself that you will not interrupt, that you will let them speak their mind, give them time to think, and that when they pause, even for 30 seconds or more, that you will wait patiently and attentively to them knowing that they're doing the important work of thinking)...when they seem finished, ask them if there is anything else they are thinking and feeling that they still might want to express...wait...ask again until they say they're done. 

what is your goal is for this thinking session, what do they want to achieve in the time we have together? then listen...

what are you assuming that's stopping you from reaching your goal? listen and note the exact wording that they use

what is the positive opposite of that assumption? listen and note their exact wording

tie together the assumption and the positive opposite in an incisive question [this is a critical and life changing step]...e.g., If you knew that (insert positive opposite), what ideas would you have that would help you move in the direction of your goal...listen and when they seem finished, ask if there anything else (repeat the question), continue until they say they are done...when asking the question, make sure to get the wording precise...use their language...and again, listen with rapt attention and do not interrupt, give them the gift of time to think for themselves.

have them write down the question (it's surprising how easy it is to forget this, even if the question has been asked several times)

say what you appreciate or respect about each other (something unrelated to the thinking session)




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