HEART HABIT
John Backman (2013). Why can't we talk?:
Christian wisdom on dialogue as
a habit of the heart.
Backman writes from his personal experience and includes ideas from the field of Communication and Christian sources (scripture and saints). The idea that resonated with me the most is preparing your heart through prayer and meditation to create an attitude of openness, friendliness, curiosity, respect, acceptance, and caring before and during the dialogic encounter.
He also notes that dialogue doesn't guarantee a "successful" outcome...we may understand that we both disagree and hopefully prioritize the relationship over the particular issue.
The challenge is to find and engage in a prayer and/or meditation practice(s) that genuinely transforms our mind to be more friendly, open, curious, respectful, accepting, and caring...others that are close to you will notice and affirm these attitudes (if not, you can ask for feedback)...
if your practice is not moving in this direction, maybe it's time to consider another practice...possible practices: zazen, mindfulness meditation, centering prayer, relaxation response, rosary, Hindu or Gregorian chanting, shamanic drumming, drawing mandalas, creating haikus, singing favorite songs, playing a musical instrument (consider both wind and string instruments like the recorder or guitar), dancing the 5 rhythms, praying in color, tending a garden or a few potted plants, taking care of a pet...whatever brings you joy and helps cultivate attitudes for genuine dialogue.

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